WASHINGTON– At\u00a0a\u00a0celebratory meal following his bris, Vice President Joe Biden received a free Obama phone from the President\u00a0as a congratulatory gesture for his introduction into the Jewish faith.<\/p>\n
After the mohel performed Biden’s circumcision on the Oval Office desk, everyone went back to the president’s bathroom to celebrate and take photos of a bloody Biden to post on Facebook.<\/p>\n
“Welcome to the faith,” Obama joked as he handed Biden the free phone. “You get 500 free minutes a month and unlimited text messages. Don’t use them all at once or you might have to sign up for other phones in different names.”<\/p>\n
With cameras snapping photos, Obama showed Biden how to turn on the phone, how to make calls, and how to sign up for free government programs.<\/p>\n
“Keep Obama as president,” the animated Biden said, still drowsy from the anesthetic. “He gave us a phone and he gonna be doin more. Every minority got Obama phone and Romney, he sucks bad.”<\/p>\n
Once Obama gave Biden all the phone basics, he handed him a few forms to sign up for food stamps.<\/p>\n
“Don’t wait too long or your benefits won’t kick in right away,” Obama said as Biden started filling out his information. “Lemme give ya some advice, make sure you write down that you’re a single mother and that you’re taking care of ten kids.”<\/p>\n
The government program, recently renamed Circumcised Vice Presidents Posing As Single Mothers With Ten Children, has helped many former\u00a0circumcised vice presidents posing as single mothers with ten children afford basic phone service, which is essential to calling sex lines\u00a0or getting through to the president when he’s off on vacation on a tropical island.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
WASHINGTON– At\u00a0a\u00a0celebratory meal following his bris, Vice President Joe Biden received a free Obama phone from the President\u00a0as a congratulatory gesture for his introduction into the Jewish faith. After the mohel performed Biden’s circumcision on the Oval Office desk, everyone went back to the president’s bathroom to celebrate and take photos of a bloody Biden […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5557,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[766,76,279,1016,124,557,77,278,883,1114,78],"class_list":["post-1909","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-politics","tag-barack-obama","tag-bathroom","tag-circumcision","tag-food-stamps","tag-jewish","tag-joe-biden","tag-obama","tag-obama-phone","tag-phone","tag-rated-pg","tag-white-house"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1909","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1909"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1909\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5557"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1909"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1909"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1909"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}