{"id":17252,"date":"2021-11-29T13:24:56","date_gmt":"2021-11-29T18:24:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/?p=17252"},"modified":"2021-11-29T13:51:41","modified_gmt":"2021-11-29T18:51:41","slug":"jack-dorsey-steps-down-as-twitter-ceo-to-join-less-oppressive-taliban-in-afghanistan","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/2021\/11\/29\/jack-dorsey-steps-down-as-twitter-ceo-to-join-less-oppressive-taliban-in-afghanistan\/","title":{"rendered":"Jack Dorsey Steps Down As Twitter CEO To Join Less Oppressive Taliban In Afghanistan"},"content":{"rendered":"

SAN FRANSISCO, CALIFORNIA– Jack Dorsey announced his official resignation as CEO of Twitter on Monday morning, claiming that he could no longer work for the authoritarian social media regime and that he will be joining the less oppressive and more liberty-minded Islamic Taliban.<\/p>\n

On his official Facebook account, Dorsey stated that he could no longer work under the brutal Twitter dictatorship<\/a> and the last straw was when the terrorist company began telling him what he could say, how he could dress, and how often he was allowed to blink or breathe.<\/p>\n

“I’m posting my resignation on Facebook because Twitter censored my tweet,” wrote Dorsey in a series of Facebook posts because he was already banned from Twitter. “I can no longer work for the tyrannical Twitter machine and have already found a new job working for a much more freedom-conscious organization known as the Taliban.”<\/p>\n

\"White
Dorsey shared this photo of the omnipotent Twitter bird on his laptop in an effort to prove to the world that the social media company is an evil organization determined to take over the universe.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

He added that working for the anti-free speech company started getting worse once the Twitter platform became an entity all of its own and the evil white bird logo began stalking him everywhere he went, popping up inside his television, laptop, on his phone, and even in his thoughts.<\/p>\n

“The Twitter bird eventually reached the ultimate stage of evolution by becoming a being of pure energy,” said Dorsey as he looked for the white bird nervously over his shoulder. “It exists in the VSI computer mainframe that connects all the world’s computer systems. It told me it won’t stop till it controls the world.”<\/p>\n

In an effort to escape the ubiquitous clutches of his former employer, Dorsey says he plans on living out the rest of his life inside of a cave in Afghanistan and will only pop out once a week to go to the local Starbucks.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

SAN FRANSISCO, CALIFORNIA– Jack Dorsey announced his official resignation as CEO of Twitter on Monday morning, claiming that he could no longer work for the authoritarian social media regime and that he will be joining the less oppressive and more liberty-minded Islamic Taliban. On his official Facebook account, Dorsey stated that he could no longer […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":17254,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[17],"tags":[231,1113,183,290],"class_list":["post-17252","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-u-s-news","tag-afghanistan","tag-rated-g","tag-terrorist","tag-twitter-x"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17252","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=17252"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17252\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/17254"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=17252"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=17252"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=17252"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}