{"id":13999,"date":"2020-04-28T16:08:53","date_gmt":"2020-04-28T21:08:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/?p=13999"},"modified":"2020-05-02T12:18:19","modified_gmt":"2020-05-02T17:18:19","slug":"china-creates-new-and-improved-covid-20-promises-this-virus-wont-fall-apart-after-one-use","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/2020\/04\/28\/china-creates-new-and-improved-covid-20-promises-this-virus-wont-fall-apart-after-one-use\/","title":{"rendered":"China Creates New And Improved COVID-20, Promises This Virus Won’t Fall Apart After One Use"},"content":{"rendered":"

BEIJING, CHINA– Beijing is offering a brand-new and upgraded COVID-20 virus for export after witnessing the entire world starting to recover from their ineffective Chinese-made COVID-19 viral product.<\/p>\n

On Monday, Chinese officials unveiled their brand new manufacturing plant in Bi\u00e0nt\u00e0i where they began production on the latest virus products, promising that the latest “Made in China” virus merchandise will have superior ingredients, be of better quality, and last much longer than its faulty predecessor.<\/p>\n

W\u00e1ng H\u00f9nzh\u00e0ng,a spokesman for President Xi Jinping<\/a>, gave CNN China News reporters a tour of the state-of-the-art assembly line where stronger, more resilient COVID-20s were being created for export to other countries.<\/p>\n

\"Parody
The all-new COVID-20 virus merchandise comes with more detailed instructions and better translations to mitigate the spread of product failure.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

“We guarantee the quality of COVID-20 virus products exported from China will far surpass our expectations,” spokesman H\u00f9nzh\u00e0ng told reporters as he showcased an exclusive virus product made specifically for the United States.<\/p>\n

H\u00f9nzh\u00e0ng went on to say that all Chinese-made products meet quality standards in China and face vigorous testing on their own citizens to assure effectiveness.<\/p>\n

In regards to the earlier failed COVID-19<\/a> product line, the spokesman stated that perhaps people from other countries weren’t using the product correctly or following the easy to read instruction manual.<\/p>\n

He added that President Xi wants consumers to once again trust Chinese-made products and is offering free expedited shipping on all COVID-20 products.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

BEIJING, CHINA– Beijing is offering a brand-new and upgraded COVID-20 virus for export after witnessing the entire world starting to recover from their ineffective Chinese-made COVID-19 viral product. On Monday, Chinese officials unveiled their brand new manufacturing plant in Bi\u00e0nt\u00e0i where they began production on the latest virus products, promising that the latest “Made in […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":14004,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11],"tags":[409,112,1114,166,662],"class_list":["post-13999","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-world","tag-china","tag-cnn","tag-rated-pg","tag-virus","tag-xi-jinping"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13999","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=13999"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13999\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/14004"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=13999"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=13999"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=13999"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}